Anyone who has struggled with alcohol abuse disorder has asked themselves if alcoholics can drink in moderation. Let’s talk about the idea of moderation management and why the idea of drinking in moderation is so dangerous.

Drinking in Moderation 

Moderation Management is a program designed to help those with alcohol abuse disorder learn to control their drinking. The goal of the program is to turn the tables on the uncontrollable urge to drink and keep drinking until harmful consequences pile up like dirty dishes in the kitchen sink. 

To achieve this, program participants plan a life around when and how to drink in moderation. But, for real alcoholics, this is rarely a viable solution. Think about the dirty dish scenario. To clean the sink, do you wash all but two dirty glasses or do you wash them all? The sink looks better if you leave two dirty dishes in it, but it’s not really clean. It’s a compromise. Put one or two extra dirty dishes in, and it’s a complete mess all over again. And that’s what drinking in moderation is – a compromise that’s a drink or two away from disaster. 

The Doctor’s Opinion in AA Destroys the Concept of Drinking in Moderation 

In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is an infamous chapter called “The Doctor’s Opinion.” In the chapter, the doctor explains that alcoholism is characterized by a “phenomenon of craving.” Alcoholics crave the first drink, but the craving persists after drinking two, three, and ten. It is an itch that can’t be scratched. In the face of horrific health, financial, and social consequences, the craving for alcohol supersedes. 

Despite a desperate desire and intent to stop drinking, the phenomenon of craving overpowers the strongest among us. The Doctor’s Opinion has been used as the basis of the concept that alcoholism is a disease for decades. Anyone suffering from it is sick and needs treatment, which is outlined in the remainder of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. 

Every Real Alcoholic Has Tried to Manage Their Drinking 

Alcoholics Anonymous tells is that the disease of alcoholism is cunning, baffling, and powerful. All of us who have struggled with it know this. We have all made bargains with ourselves and made sincere promises to stop or manage our drinking, only to fail miserably hours later. 

Alcoholic thinking tells us we can have just one drink. It tells us we can start drinking again after decades of sobriety. It is a liar whose sole purpose is to trick us into having that first drink, which lowers our inhibitions, slows our thinking, and leads us down the hideous road we want to get off. 

The cunning, baffling nature of alcoholism is nothing to sneeze at. At four years sober, I had surgery. After taking painkillers as prescribed for a week, I walked into another room, stood on a chair, and placed the bottle on top of a very high cabinet. I got down and immediately realized that normal people don’t do things like that. Alcoholics do!  I got back on that chair and threw those pills away. But that’s how quickly and easily an alcoholic idea can pull us back into the insanity of believing we can successfully manage drinking or using.

The Epic Failure of Moderation Management

 Audrey Kishline was convinced that Alcoholics Anonymous was too stringent of a program and that abstinence was not the solution. So, she founded the Moderation Management program to teach herself and others how to drink successfully. Unfortunately, the program failed and one night, she drove drunk, going the wrong way on an interstate, and plowed headfirst into another vehicle-instantly killing a father and his twelve-year-old daughter. She then went to jail for two years. 

Interestingly, proponents of people who believe in drinking in moderation say Kishline’s story should not be used as an example to disprove the value of the program. As I said, alcoholism is a cunning, baffling, and powerful disease because the only takeaway from Kishline’s story is that the concept of controlled drinking is an epic failure that, in her case, resulted in deadly consequences. 

Do Healthy People Focus on Drinking in Moderation?

The whole idea of trying to train people to drink in moderation is an exercise in restraint. It is a full-blown program that is sometimes led by a paid coach. As a recovering alcoholic, I would suggest that normal people don’t spend their time and energy wondering how to drink in moderation. They just do it naturally. 

The beauty of sobriety is in the freedom from alcoholism and the loss of that never-ending obsession with when the next drink will come. In a moderation management program, the thought of the next drink is top of mind. All day, every day. That isn’t freedom from alcoholism at all. It’s living IN it. 

Healthy people go to dinner, order a glass of wine, and leave half the glass on the table. They walk away without thinking about the alcohol left on the table and go home, watch a movie, and drift of to sleep peacefully. They aren’t keeping calendars or charts of accountability because they never had the phenomenon of craving characteristic of alcoholism to begin with. 

Every Real Alcoholic Has Tried to Manage Their Drinking

Alcoholics Anonymous tells us that the disease of alcoholism is cunning, baffling, and powerful. All of us who have struggled with it know this. We have all made bargains with ourselves and made sincere promises to stop or manage our drinking, only to fail miserably hours later. 

Alcoholic thinking tells us we can have just one drink. It tells us we can start drinking again after decades of sobriety. It is a liar whose sole purpose is to trick us into having that first drink, which lowers our inhibitions, slows our thinking, and leads us down the hideous road we want to get off. 

The cunning, baffling nature of alcoholism is nothing to sneeze at. At four years sober, I had surgery. After taking painkillers as prescribed for a week, I walked into another room, stood on a chair, and placed the bottle on top of a very high cabinet. I got down and immediately realized that normal people don’t do things like that. Alcoholics do!  I got back on that chair and threw those pills away. But that’s how quickly and easily an alcoholic idea can pull us back into the insanity of believing we can successfully manage drinking or using.

We Deserve So Much More than a Life of Managed Drinking

As a recovering alcoholic who has worked the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, I want every inch of the freedom the program has given me. I am talking about freedom from self, freedom from empty bargains with bottles, freedom from thoughts of drinking, and freedom from the fear of negative consequences. 

Getting sober opens the world up so that dreams and impossibilities can become reality. It’s hard work, especially at first, but it is NEVER  as hard as waking up in a jail cell or any of the other horrible things that one night of drinking can create. 

I’m reminded of a meeting I went to many years ago. A woman, who also believed she could control her drinking, went on a date intending to have one drink. She had more than one, drove drunk, got arrested, and missed work. That ONE drink resulted in a totaled car, a lost job, a lost license, and a shattered sense of self-worth. 

We, who are real alcoholics, deserve abstinence. We are not losing anything by not drinking but are gaining EVERYTHING. Go to a meeting and ask one of us what we miss about our lives of controlled drinking, and we will tell you only one thing. We are infinitely grateful we don’t ever have to navigate a life of managed drinking again. 

Don’t Settle on Being Partly Sober. Let Us Help You Break Free from the Chains of Addiction to Alcohol!

At Breakthrough Recovery Outreach, we have years of experience helping people recover from addiction. Our supportive programs and experienced staff members will help you find freedom and a newfound sense of hope.